Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Day In The Life....

For those who want to know what I'm up to in that so unpleasantly named Dorking, here is a detailed chronology of events in the average day of Clarence. Although I have to grit my teeth a fair bit in this average day, the benefits outweigh the cons of this country life and so here goes a day in the life

Between 5:30am - 8am: Wake up to the sound of Lara grooming herself on my bed, cows mooing outside my window and horses neighing out the other. Quite lovely really, you'd think so much noise would be annoying but there are no cars, no traffic, no sirens and thankfully no bloody cockatoos!

8am - 9am: Get dressed and go to the chicken pen to let the chickies out of their night cages. The foxy loxys around here are crafty and like the taste of fresh chook. You have to watch out for the geese cos they hiss at you and bite, lil buggars!

Go and muck out the horses. This involves 8 stables. Feed them grain, chalf and hay, top up their water and give them all a good cuddle!

Harry Houdini, gorgeous stallion always trying to get out of his stable to harass the ladies!

Divine having a little nap, she's so gorgeous and my favourite
Bertie Boo is a little buggar sometimes but he's a softy underneath

9am - 10am: Prepare breaky for the kids. This really involves getting everything out of the cupboards and fridge, apparently they can't get all this themselves, I'm not sure who taught these kids motor functions but despite being healthy kids they struggle with even the smallest tasks, a result of lack of discipline. 

Make sure the kids are dressed and ready for whatever the day brings. Usually making Clare do everything for them. 

10am - 12noon: These hours are either spent riding the horses, doing odd jobs such as harrowing the fields, burning old hay, cleaning the house, sorting out all the junk in the shed or taking the kids on a bike ride which is usually spent trying to convince Little Madame that she can in fact ride up the hill and that she cannot expect me to carry two bikes home because she's too lazy to do it herself. Little Madame and Spoilt Brat usually spend these hours trying to kill each other, either with or without weapons and try as I might to break it up I always fail miserably.

12 noon: I prepare lunch for everyone, pack away and clean afterwards. Again, I don't understand why no one can at least help me with this task!!!

The 'menage' or schooling arena which I have to keep tidy and change the jumping course each week

Here's the house with Sam, Jimmy and Smartie out the front

1pm - 3pm: This time is usually spent at a horse show. The kids ride in classes of jumping and showing while I run all the errands: tacking, untacking, fetching coffee, feeding and watering the horses, entering competitions, holding chips, fetching whips, dressing the kids in their showing stuff, bandaging and unbandaging horses, washing horses, barely have time to take a breath!

4pm - 6pm: Muck out horses again, feed and water. There's always time to cuddle my babies though!!

6am - 8pm: Feed all 5 dogs, collect the chicken's eggs and put them away, clean the poo off the eggs and put them in containers out the front of the property to sell.

8pm - 9pm: Prepare dinner, tidy up and wash up afterwards. Watch East Enders (my favourite part of the day!)

10pm: Take the dogs for a walk in the woods so they don't wee overnight. 

10:30pm: Have a shower, clean all the accumulated poo off myself and relax for a minute in the one place where I don't have people nagging me!

11pm: Get the kids ready for bed, unpack the dishwasher, go to bed about half an hour later and fall asleep within 30 seconds cos I'm so friggin tired.

Believe it or not, this is me in a state of complete relaxation after sending the kids to get an icecream and left to my own devices!

They made me go for the British

Cheering for a clear round in the show jumping

Booing the Germans when they win. Good sports we are!

The last couple of days have been less stressful as we've been going to the Royal International Horse Show. It gave me a chance to go off on my own and look at all the nice horsies so here are a few photos from that

So there you go. Its a full on life but it keeps me occupied. I can't say I'll be sad to leave in two weeks though!!!


Baino said...

Top post Baino! Sounds like you're literally in the poo! They go to bed late for littlluns? Love your horsies though they're so so cute,and the doggies and the chooks! Chin up, two more weeks and you'll be off and atem again! Sixteen weeks and you'll be home but who's counting MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

And I'll be unemployed and bludging off you until the new year! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

Babysis said...

Love both your posts....maybe you could talk to The Mum about getting paid for the babysitting - and wasnt she going to get you bar work in the evening....Personally I think its good training for the Spoilt Brats to start fetching theyre own brekkie and putting things in the dishwasher.....maybe a good FUCK OFF will get them out of your room at night.....Otherwise it just looks lovely and I'm oh so envious and you look lovely and healthy and well....At least it'll be party party party in "the DAM" when Bec gets there. Luv Ya

King Jack said...

No bloody cockatoos!!! I don't know how you do it. BWARK!

Clare & Jem's Excellent Adventures said...

Babysis - its a hopeless situation. I've found I expend less energy and it takes less time to just do what they say rather than trying to change them and the cows relax me at night! hehe! Don't worry, I've already slipped a few swear words out at them.

Kind Jack - Cockatoos are great until 6am every summer morning!

Estevez said...

a goose beaked me on the knee once! true story.

these people sound like they need a short sharp slap to the face with a large wet salmon. ye gods!!